Why You Will End Up Voting for Obama

Political Readers, let’s be honest with each other. I am a Democrat. Most of you are probably Republicans, if the Political Review’s readership has the same demographics as the campus at large. I want to be clear about this because the point of this article is to convince you that, despite our almost certain differences in opinion, we have one very important thing in common; when Barack Obama wins the Democratic nomination, both you and I will end up supporting him for president.

I would love to speak with each reader about this personally, but I am one and you are many. Instead, I have imagined the following interview with You Readers.

Me: You Readers will end up supporting Barack Obama for president. Go Obamarama!

YouReaders(YR):Why would we, conservative, Republican Mormons ever even think about supporting Obama for president?

Me: Let us reason together. Out of the Republican field of candidates, who have you most supported?

YR: Romney.

Me: Fair enough, Romney certainly was the best of the Republican candidates. I am curious though, why did you pick him?

YR: He did a good job with the Winter Olympics, and he has a lot of management experience. Plus he’s good looking.

Me: Hmm… so his religion has nothing to do with it, right?

YR: Well…

Me: Don’t worry about it, I’m just kidding. His religion certainly was a plus in my opinion. The point is that you are right; the other two Republican candidates are unimaginably horrible options. Mike Huckabee is an complete joke. I won’t even bother to explain why because if you are smart enough to get into BYU you are smart enough to see right through the Huckster.

YR: No kidding, he really is lame.

Me: John McCain, on the other hand, is no joke. He is a nightmare. The only thing that he has going for him is that he has worked with members of my party (the Democrats) in the past. I am scared of him though, because he seems intent on, well… on blowing up the world! He said the other day that he didn’t care if America stayed in Iraq for another one hundred or ten thousand years. TEN THOUSAND YEARS! I am only being a little melodramatic when I say that, if he had the power to commit us to some kind of apocalyptic, doomsday confrontation with… lets just put it this way. There is a video on You Tube of him singing, “Bomb bomb bomb, bomb bomb Iran…”

YR: You seem to be exaggerating a bit.

Me: I wish.

YR: You aren’t?

Me: No. Those are his own words.

YR: Prove it, because I would be loathe to support a Democrat over the Republican nominee, no matter who it is.

Me: OK, consider this. Here are some of McCain’s words of wisdom. On the Iraq war he said this about Romney fans who support Romney’s plan of gradual withdrawal, “Only the most deluded of us could doubt the necessity of this war.” He also called Romney a pig. Specifically, talking about his campaign with Romney, he said, “Never get into a wrestling match with a pig. You both get dirty, and the pig likes it.”

YR: Oh yeah, I heard that he said that.

Me: He doesn’t even limit his mean-spiritedness to his political adversaries in the presidential election. Here are some of McCain’s comments about his fellow Senate Republicans. When Republican Senator Chuck Grassley asked him, during an argument, if he was calling him stupid, McCain said, “No, I’m calling you a f*cking jerk.” To Republican Senator John Cornyn, who disagreed with his amnesty bill, he said on the Senate floor, “F*ck you! This is chickensh*t stuff!” About the budget his fellow Republican Senator Pete Domenici proposed, he said, “Only an a**hole would put together a budget like this. I wouldn’t call you an a-hole unless you really were an a**hole.”

YR: Wow, I get the point. He’s a vulgar hot head.

Me: it’s not just that, consider his moral views. He doesn’t agree with most Mormons about abortion. Here are his own words, “Certainly in the short term, or even the long term, I would not support repeal of Roe v. Wade, which would then force… [the] women in America to undergo illegal and dangerous operations.” He has said that four times on the campaign trail.

YR: Really? That is bad…

Me: Yeah, it’s kind of damning evidence. Romney pretty much had it right when he said that McCain is not a real conservative. Just one more quote, for effect. This one, from 2005, is my favorite. “I am sure that Senator Clinton would make a good President… I have no doubt that Senator Clinton would make a good President.”

YR: Ouch! That makes me want to cry. There is no way I could ever vote for McCain. I would think that maybe I just shouldn’t vote at all, but I remember American Heritage and I know that voting is an important civic duty. I guess maybe… Obama might not be that bad.

Me: So true. Obama may not be the perfect choice for most Republicans, but if you take an honest look at him, you will find that he is, by far, the best option out there.

YR: I agree, now, and I am excited because if we can agree on this, perhaps Obama really will be able to usher in an era of decreased partisan bickering. Say no to McCain and angry vitriol, say yes to Obama and hope!

YR and Me: Go Obama!

Craig Janis is a Democrat, but has overcome this handicap and learned to function normally in society. He blogs at http://fube.ca/.

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